Posted on September 23, 2016 by Double Toasted


Love her or hate her, (I'm assuming if you love her, stop reading now), Tomi Lahren has word vomited her way to the pinnacle of internet stardom, and as is customary at this point, I'd say It's due time for me to compile my thoughts on middle america's little princess.

Tomi Lahren, The Blaze's ultra rightwing conservative, 'Final-Thoughts' Host and model behind Mattel's new "White Privilege RBF Barbie" (complete with Ugs, chihuahua and PumpkinSpice Latte), has become the new crazed republican pundit of the digital airways, thriving off of her own  pomposity. The Darth Vader to Glen Beck's, Emperor Palpatine if you will. She's only 24, and screams vile hatred constantly in her condescending, sarcastic tone; meant only to elicit a deep rooted anger and resentment for whomever is the topic of conversation. She hides behind a faux persona of self deprecating humor as she capriciously makes reference to her own statements, and then follows them up with a typically sardonic quick quip. (The best to be expected of a 24 yr old dilettante, who doesn't truly know how to argue a point.) She has sadly and unsurprisingly, catapulted herself to being one of Facebook's top "news" pundits, and has inadvertently classified herself as the epitome of a lunchroom clique-leader; who clearly hates herself so much, she can't help but seek the approval of every alpha-guy she knows as she takes turns blowing each one in the gym locker room. Except now, her platform isn't just reserved for wet concrete floors and guys named ''Chad", but rather, the country... and it's kind of a problem. If the United States was a high school, Tomi Lahren would be it's Queen-Bee bitch.

The real issue, isn't so much her message, but rather, her resolve. Honestly, what she says is so stupid, you almost can't help but laugh and pity her for being so misinformed. However, there within lies the problem, because she isn't falsely and objectionably purporting the news as a joke. Those she's speaking to, (uneducated, bible-thumping, white America), don't see her as a form of entertainment, but rather as a truthful soothsayer; mirroring their own ill-conceived thoughts, with zero basis in reality. It's a systemic issue, created out of years of underlying racism and bigotry. In her ability to spew half-truths and cherry-picked facts, she's able to serve up an easily understandable and digestible agenda to her audience. She doesn't know anything about the world, because she hasn't lived in it long enough. And much like an attention seeking daughter after daddy's car-keys, she caters directly to her base, telling them exactly what they want to hear. This being, primarily mid-20-40's white guys who see her as a sexual object first, who buy into her crap because her remarks mimic their own. She literally is the perfect storm of conservative rhetoric in the absolute best delivery device. Tried and true marketing at it's finest. And now a moment about Trump...

Apart from her videos, lately as I carouse the pages of Facebook and jump from site to site, I constantly find myself watching videos from HuffPost, or NowThis, and others, as they all do the same thing. They compile facts and soundbites that Trump has said in interviews and rallies, and try to use them to give a backdoor peak into the mind of the madman. However, these tactics I feel will fall upon deaf ears. Not because Trump supporters have already made-up their minds (which I'm sure they have) but rather because these videos are only reinforcing the ideas of an anti-Trump movement. This type of political discourse does little, because democrats are relying on facts and truths to prove Trump's incompetence. In a case like this, it has little effect, because the people voting for Trump aren't looking for intelligent reasonable answers. All they want is overt grandstanding and posturing that's easier to comprehend. If someone's mind is made up, and it's fueled by the perception of self preservation, you'll never be able to convince them otherwise.  If anything, this attempt at demonizing Trump could actually help him in the long run, because it's not helping appeal to the issues perceived by his backers, but rather reinforcing that they don't care.

Although, Lahren doesn't often speak about Trump directly in her segments, her anti-Hillary debate is difficult to ignore in the larger spectrum of things. With this unintentionally lethal combination of anti-Trump videos and anti-liberal videos by Lahren, Trump very well could win this election, because politics are seldom about policies. This time it's about false rhetoric designed to segregate people. If you find a way to combat primal human instinct, you may have a shot at denouncing Trump in the opponents eye's.

How do you do that? Well you don't challenge a bully to a fight, you challenge them to a spelling-bee. This Monday, Hillary and Trump will face-off in their first televised debate, and if Hillary can prove Trump's incompetence to his supporters, it'll be her election to lose at that point. As for Tomi Lahred? She'll always be around, collecting her praise from wannabees and nobodies. Eventually she'll get her own show, and then once people have had enough of her crap; she'll get canned, and married, then pop-out two shitty white trash kids, just like her. She'll be abused and probably cheated on, and live first hand that "great America" she keeps railing for. In the end, nothing changes, it just moves forward at a faster clip. But for right now... Tomi Lahren is our Homecoming Queen. So let's all keep our collective heads down and keep studying. Applications are due in the Fall, and 4 years from now, hopefully no one will even remember who this bimbo is.

-Will Valle hello-barbie-600