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SPIDER-MAN: FAR FROM HOME CONTEST

Joshua Williams found our last character. Thanks everyone! We’ll announce the drawing soon.

In celebration of Spidey’s second solo outing in the MCU we thought it might be fun to play a game with all you Toasties. Help us fill in the blank spots in our Spider-man themed picture by finding the characters. Starting at 10 am CST they’ll be popping up in various posts on the site in our comment sections. First one to find them as they pop up gets added to our drawing for an item of their choice from DTMERCH.COM or an AMAZON GIFT CERTIFICATE. When you find the character email us at KCOOLMANZ@GMAIL.COM and we’ll place you in our drawing.

Good luck and have fun, and make sure to check out our review for ‘Spider-man: Far From Home’ here!

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Will’s Honest Opinion – Stimulated Reality – 7-14-18

“A black guy, a blonde guy, a brunette, and a dude with glasses, walks into a recording studio… Stop me if you heard this one…”

I’ve noticed lately a common, (or uncommon) theme in entertainment lately. It’s something I’ve addressed briefly before, but the concept of a simulated reality is slowly making it’s way into the public consciousness, and with that, the world as we know it slowly seems to be shaping and forming into something that is borderline obvious and transparent.

For those of you who may be unfamiliar with the hypothesis, it has been suggested that the world we live in is a holographic 3D projection. It’s an interface that we can all interact with and within. Imagine it as a giant gaming lobby where everyone is present and can speak, trade, and set course from. There are many MANY reasons why prominent theoretical physicists and cosmologists like Laurence Krauss, or Michio Kaku, believe that world around us is not all it seems to be; more than I could get to in this piece. However, the general consensus seems to be making the rounds in intellectual circles, and is now slowly seeping into the realm of entertainment. More so than solely being encompassed by a trilogy of surfer starring, bullet-time action flicks.

Isn’t it odd that the older you get, the more you say: “I’ve seen this before?” When you think about it, for the most part, many games are the same with altering skins. Many shows and movies tell the same story with different casts and settings, but the message is always exactly the same as before. Maybe there’s a reason the universe tends to repeat itself with limited variations of alternating versions of itself. Is death a reset button to those who have reached the end of it’s offerings? How many video games continue to tell a story once you’ve beaten it? Maybe the simulation has become too small for it’s inhabitants to not take notice of.

The first contemporary example I’d like to reference would be that of the newly exhibited, “Battle Royale” games. A somewhat basic set-up and gameplay type that pits online players against each other, may come off as self evident or unmissable, but the concept is strikingly similar to life. In fact the introduction of such a widespread phenomenon may be an inevitable proof and result of an omni-consciousness gearing up to usher humanity into the next phase of philosophical enlightenment. (Trippy…)

“The whole deal is like some kind of crazy game. They put you at the starting line. And the name of the game is make it through life. Only, everyone’s out for themselves and looking to do you in at the same time. OK, man here we are. You do what you can, but remember, I’m going to do my best to blow your ass away. So how are you going to make it?” -Frank, ‘They Live’ 1988

Sound familiar? That film came out 30 years ago, and is still relevant to this day. Although that movie seems to presume we’re all being herded around like cattle by skeletal space overlords, the message and the theme are constant. And that theme is that it’s a huge game. You might want to ask yourself why it’s a game, and if we’re the players or the played, who stands to benefit? Is it a challenge? Is this a massive existential test that determines how the human psyche works, or why it makes the choices it does? It may appear so.

The next example that submits to these guidelines or premises, is, ‘The Purge’ film series. Say what you will about the execution of the films, (all four ranging from 30%-50% on Rotten Tomatoes); the series demonstrates the ethos of the human condition. Sometimes heavy handed, each entry wears it’s message on it’s sleeve, and acts like an over-the-top ethics episode of ‘Sesame Street’ for ages 25 and up. The undertones of race, bigotry, and tolerance come off with the finesse of a poorly tuned piano trying to play ‘Chopsticks’. Like: “yes, we get it; you don’t need to try so hard. It’s not that hard a tune.” However, the ideologies and basic rule set explored are no different than that of any game based simulation used in modern cinema. This concept isn’t new either. We’ve seen it in movies like, with ‘The Hunger Games’, ‘Lord of the Flies’ and the story by which the modernized genre name was derived; the 1999 Japanese film, ‘Battle Royale’.

‘West World’ Season 2 explores these themes to great length, and suggests that (Spoilers), not only is it all a game, but that people are predictable. When tasked with infinite possibilities over and over, the unimaginable outcome is the same every single time. Humanity as a whole can be summed up by the basic premise of simple survival, and the means to achieve that survival become secondary to the survival of others if the game gets too hard. The players that set the game to “easy mode” are born into privilege, and have opportunity handed to them on a silver platter. They want for nothing and expect everything. The issue then becomes that the outcome of such a minimal difficulty level leads to minimal self awareness and accomplishment. How fun is it to beat a 5 yr old in chess, or outsmart a dog? If the rules are set to kowtow to ineptitude, then the end result will be even less satisfying. So what happens? These players refuse to leave the game. They insist on staying and ruling over the class that keeps them on top; a position that gifts that player by rewarding them with an easily achieved sense of superiority in that reality.

We see this in ‘West World’ with the park owners and guests. They can’t bare to lose control, because they know what awaits them is nothing worth having; suggesting they weren’t enlightened enough to obtain it through experience based means or life altering hardship to begin with. They die soft. This subject was also approached on the last season of ‘House of Cards’. The idea of downloading your consciousness into a digital representation in an attempt to live forever, is the topic of much discussion amongst the elite ruling class. How will you be remembered? It doesn’t matter if you’re always there to remind people you exist. This creates a moral quandary where acting altruistically becomes irrelevant if you don’t need others to survive.

‘West World’ S2 relegates human behavior to nothing more than a complex algorithm. This concept isn’t foreign to modern psychology or philosophy. There are, on record, only about 16 different personality types. (I’ve been tested as ENTJ, for whatever that’s worth…) However, If you know them all, you could easily predict someone’s motives or behavior with events large and small. Variables spin out of control the more times you add to the equation. Millions of outcomes become billions, and then trillions with only so many outliers being created as singularly unique outcomes. Now the phrase: “One in Fourteen million six hundred and five.” has a bit more meaning, doesn’t it?

This is where the concept of quantum computing comes into play. Maybe the simulation is playing over and over in similar fashion because we’re looking for that one unique outlying outcome. Constant variables, shifting to create alternate outcomes, is what elevates the understanding of society and it’s greatest achievements and/or trappings. In essence, there was NEVER a chance Trump wouldn’t become President, because it needed to happen for humanity to look inward, question itself, and recognize it’s own futile yet persistent fidelity. Therefor, Trump will become the most important figure in history since Hitler. In order to grow you must experience that growth. This is true of the entire human condition. No one is born 40 years old. This also suggest that we could never live in a perfect world, because we can’t if we’re actively trying to gain an earned perspective of our own reality. And, oddly enough, we may never want to. If the universe has taught us anything it’s that we don’t understand it, and once we do, would we want to live in it? Groucho Marks said: “I don’t want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member.” It might be akin to playing a kid’s game on easy. There’s no knowledge to be obtained by the trappings of omnipotent mediocrity.

But with that in mind, is it possible to even contemplate the grand design? Shouldn’t that concept be too queer and unimaginable for our brains to conceptualize? Is it beyond our spectrum or capacity of thought? Or perhaps the entirety of the human condition exists only because we are built to question it. Maybe we can grasp the basic mechanics of a larger picture because we’re on our way there to begin with. Call it an: “inherent introspective”.

There is a concept known as the “Anthropic Principle”. It suggests that the universe only exists because we are here to observe it’s existence. If we weren’t here to recognize it, then how could it exist? By that same logic, is it then possible that an entire universe  could also exist regardless of an active participant recognizing that universe’s existence. Sounds silly, but this line of thinking may be a proof of concept for “negative dimensions”. Imagine if in the experiment of Schrodinger’s cat, the box was actually empty? Does the emptiness of that box or the gasses in it, make a difference if nothing is there to observe it? Is the existence of man negated by the principles constructed to create it? Is Ed Harris in a simulation of a simulation? Find out on the next, “SOAP”!
-Will Valle

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Will’s Honest Opinion – E3 2018 SUCKED – 6-13-18

Let’s be honest. This E3 sucked, and you know it. Although the once frowned upon cringy presentations (looking at you Ubisoft) seemed to be completely removed, this year’s conference did little in exciting or even finding a pulse in today’s gaming industry. There have been stinkers in the past, but the blasé game offerings, and the complete disregard for hardware is indicative of a shift. Xbox has announced it’s project “Scarlet” for a 2020 launch, and if this year’s E3 is a barometer of that timetable by any measure, we’re in the middle of a slow down. This wouldn’t be such an issue if this generation’s software wasn’t a collection of uneventful titles to begin with, but as it is… gaming is in a rut, and this didn’t happen over night. This year’s E3 sucked because it didn’t really show me anything new, and instead presented me with a bunch of regurgitated garbage…with a bow on it.

I rarely write or talk about gaming, but I’ve been a semi casual gamer since ’85 with every other late stage millennial. Currently I own a PsP, Ps2, Ps3, Ps4, Xbox 360, Wii, Wii-U, and a 3DS. And I play all of them regularly… (well except maybe the Wii…) I didn’t get the Switch for reasons I’ll mention later. And “no”, ‘Mario-GTA’ wasn’t enough of a reason. However, every year in June I set my day schedule (like so many others) around catching the E3 conference on a 2nd monitor as I work. There have been years where so much had happened, it was difficult to complete whatever task I was currently doing. This was not one of those years.

So what happened? I had mentioned before that there was an announcement for a new system by Microsoft 2 years from now, but that doesn’t explain the stupendous amount of sequels to games I don’t care about or the announcements and live play-throughs for games I already knew were coming. I realize too, that my own lack of interest in a game doesn’t make it a “bad conference”, and that my opinion is biased in that regard; however, continuing to tell me about something that you told me about years ago is literally a waste of my time. The new Spider-man game really didn’t need ANOTHER play-through. I will give ‘Death Stranding’ a pass if only because it’s such a niche title, and deserves to have actual game play showcased.

Square Enix dropped the ball by not presenting even a still for the upcoming ‘Marvel: Ultimate Alliance 3′ game. This wouldn’t be a major offense if ‘Avengers 3’ didn’t just hit $2 billion worldwide. In fact their entire presence was a bizarre choice seeing as Square Enix hadn’t been to an E3 since 2015. If you’re going to release your trailers ahead of the conference,  why even go? I did find it interesting though that the “reddit list” of Sony’s conference actually was 50% correct in “predicting” the show’s timeline. It was even in order too to some effect; so that was odd….

Moving forward, most publishers announced their staples. We received news of another ‘Assassin’s Creed’ (Ancient Rome… FINALLY), ‘The Last of Us Part 2′, and ‘Fallout 76′, (not part 76, but it might as well be…) to name a few.  Nintendo came to the game with the typical rerelease line-up that they’ve been churning out since the Switch came to market in 2017. The system has been out for a solid year and is continuing to reissue ports and remasters of Wii-U titles. Eventually, I’d like to see a completely new type of game by them. Where’s Nintendo’s multiple IP open world “Battle Royale” or their cross-world RPG akin to ‘Kingdom Hearts’? A ‘Zelda-Maker’ would be cool. I’m getting fatigued by their self imposed sequelitis.

But they’re not alone. This entire generation of games, since the induction of the Xbox1 and Ps4, have been, by and large, port machines. If you go to the wall of any game store and check out the selection for these systems, you will find that more then 50% of them are ports or HD remasters/collections of last gen titles. 25% of them are side-scrolling retro plat-formers (which although is nice, is a complete waste of resources for the hardware.) Many of the new games are sequels for known IP’s or deluxe editions of games that came out a year or two prior. All of this may sound like the result of a thriving industry, but let me tell you what is missing…

Franchise tie-in games are all but gone. And don’t tell me it’s because they’re all terrible. They’re not. Some movie tie-ins are terrible, but basic corresponding action games with known characters are basically extinct. These were occasionally great gems for the Ps2-Ps3 era and have completely been abandoned. If you want a franchise game, you need to play Lego games, or Telltale games, which is kind of ridiculous. Gone too are basic couch co-op action games. There’s a few, but this used to be a mainstay in gaming that has somehow been dropped for online only connectivity. And finally, I find there to be a huge lack of genre specific games. There’s very little espionage type games except for the few Ubisoft offerings. There used to be a heap of GoW clones, or good Star Wars titles. Those too are hard to find. Non Triple A 3rd person action titles, that don’t require 40+ hours of grinding, never seem to litter aisles anymore. FPS titles with gimmick based mechanics unique to the game are never released. In fact, the idea of the “weekend shooter” is pretty much gone.

So what does this have to do with this year’s E3? The majority of the games were either sequels or fell into the category of 3rd person RPG action titles. Which… is fine, but it’s missing out on the massive amount of styles of gameplay that used to make this an exciting event. ‘Ghost of Tsushima’ may be original in that sense, but it’s not enough when compared to the onslaught of remakes and reissues. It was also one of three samurai titles being promoted. Three! FUCKING THREE! Where is this generation’s ‘Bulletstorm’, ‘Halo’ or ‘Dragon’s Dogma’? Where are the original/modern versions of ‘InFamous’ or ‘DeadSpace’, or ‘Guitar Hero’? VR games were all but dead at this year’s E3. There were a few, but it was far from a focus; suggesting to me that the device was a massive waste of money to anyone who decided to plop down $800, inadvertently taking on the role as the industry’s R&D guinea pig.

I’ve heard the argument that this generation’s games take longer to make; which is obviously true. But if that’s the case, Triple A titles from major developers need to take a backseat to their own hype machine if they’re not willing to act sooner instead of later. I don’t need to know about a game 3 or 4 years from now. It’s a disservice to the customer, and delays gratification to the point of being borderline ineffective once it’s released if the game can’t deliver on it’s promises. ‘The Last Guardian’ is a classic example of a game that was lauded for seven years until it his shelves. It’s only been 18 months since it’s 2017 release and how many people still talk about that game? Imagine if you saw a trailer for a movie three years ahead of time? That’s going to be a ton of hype and marketing poised at keeping that project relevant. Bethesda understood this when they released ‘Fallout 4’ only months after theiir announcement. I think eventually this will be a practiced strategy.

These publisher’s need to launch close to immediately if they want to stay relevant and continue to impress. Don’t have some rando tell me about the new Star Wars game when being interviewed in a crowd of people. The best announcement this entire conference was through a tweet about “New Game + mode” in ‘GoW4’. What does that tell you about how irrelevant this conference was? The tweet was important because it’s happening now. The future of marketing is going to be “lack of hype”, because you can’t live up to standards that are actively being passed by every day. With all of that said, ‘Jump Force’ looked badass.

-Will Valle

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Will’s Honest Opinion – Triggered Happy – 6-1-18

I took a ride downtown via Uber the other day, and somehow, as seems to be the norm these days, the conversation took a turn into Trump territory. I do find it ironic how 10 years ago the odd person in the cab usually was the rider, but now it’s the driver who has signed on for the monthly tinfoil hat collection. But I digress. Eventually the dialogue shifted into race politics and the driver said “I think whites should be treated like everyone else.” Although I knew what he was trying to say, I swiftly and respectfully disagreed.

I disagreed because a statement like could suggest that whites are mistreated. Whites are not. Minorities are, and comparing whites to minorities in that sense is a backwards sentiment. Frankly we’ve been seeing this in the news a lot lately. False equivalencies and race based division politics. One side backs their team regardless of the hypocritical stance followed by the same side only days later. Either you’re a kneeler or a stander. Either you use the bathroom and buy something or you’re just loitering. Either your tweets are racist or just “bad jokes”. It’s identity politics at it’s worse. There seems to be an excuse for every “misunderstood” moral ambiguity, but it’s transparency is crystal clear. The news wants you to believe there are only two side. There aren’t. It’s easier to compartmentalize these happenings into a simple good and bad ideology. However, the world is not as easy as black and white.

The world is grey.

If you read either The New Yorker, or Atlantic Monthly, or listen to NPR, it’s verbose nature caters to it’s ultra bleeding heart liberal crowd. If you watch Info Wars, Tomi Lahren, or read the Drudge Report, you’re most likely on the extreme right. (Sorry for the false equivalent view skew, but I’m trying to make a point.) And that point is in recognizing the extremes in stance picking and reporting. The idea is very literally to split sides. Your options are Doves or Hawks. When you divide your opponent, you conquer them, and the public is currently being played like the largest fiddle since the commoners of medieval times. The masses are falling into the trap minute by minute. We’re too busy fighting each other instead of joining forces and fighting the real issues put forth by our true oppressors.

Time for a history lesson. When the monarchs of the middle ages wanted to rule with an iron fist, they knew they needed to distract and demoralize their peasants by dividing them and enforcing belittling laws to dishearten them. They did this with over taxation, and race division to name a few. As a way to split the farmers amongst themselves they would tell the white farmers “at least you’re not black” so they could take their land and the whites would still feel as though they weren’t being completely upstaged by their kings and landowners. By being “white” they were still apart of the “nobility class”, and this lessened the blow of being undercut. The Romans would go a step further with their crowd control and offer games and sports to occupy the denizens time in an attempt to stave off rebellion. The biggest, toughest ones were courted for gladiatorial duties and Spartans as a way to employ and mitigate the biggest threats. The Egyptians would create large construction projects to keep slaves busy, and all countries would practice a blind nationalism like people do when they pick a favorite sports team.

These were all methods of control. Does any of this sound familiar? How many people have two game systems, a go nowhere job, and feel like their race is marginalized in some way? It’s all by design. All of you self proclaimed “woke” SJW’s need to read Noam Chomsky’s “Manufacturing Consent”. None of this is by accident. It’s hundreds of years of perfected tactics used to control it’s population. And these incidents of fake news like Roseanne tweets and AR10 girl on Kent State Campus are no different. They are trying to divide you and you are letting them by choosing sides.

Lets talk about the AR10 girl on the Kent State Campus for a moment. When this story broke, you couldn’t go two comments into any post without seeing the words “white privilege” uttered in some way, shape or form. This is not white privilege. White privilege would be if this girl went to campus, used her gun for target practice and wasn’t arrested because she was white. In that instance, that would be a privilege of being white. The definition of “privilege” states that normal rules don’t apply to you. Carrying her gun on campus is a protected law. It’s a right, not a privilege. (Whether you may like it or not.) This girl followed the rules and laws and was chastised for it by people who regularly feel marginalized, and would undoubtedly be treated differently for doing the exact same thing. If you have an issue with that, that’s not the girl’s fault. It’s societies fault for allowing it. That’s who’s to blame. From an oppressed viewpoint it’s easy to perceive this as privilege, but it’s not. So what happens? Class divide. Arguing. Infighting. We now are listening to why we need tighter gun laws, when really that was never really an argument in this scenario. (Although it should be the ONLY argument.) And although many of these issues are most likely good valid points, the concepts and ideals are conflated into something grotesque. Instead of fighting towards a common goal, we argue amongst each other through nonsensical semantics and emotion based knee jerk reactions. Nobody is willing to listen to the other side because they’ve already made up their mind on the position at hand.

Now let’s talk about Roseanne. Roseanne is an idiot. Should have she been fired though? That’s really an interesting question. That firing, although seems obvious, is actually kind of out of character for many networks; but not ABC. It’s especially irksome when you consider there were 200 other jobs on the line. And Roseanne tweeting something racist and belittling isn’t anything new. Why give a show deal to a woman who’s been known to do this regularly? When Bill Maher joked about being a “house n-word” on air, he apologized a week later and we all moved on. This too was a joke gone wrong, but when is it a joke and when is it something political? Obviously referring to an African American as a monkey is clearly goes beyond being a joke into blatant racism, but what if Bill Maher called Trump the n-word? Is this a joke the American public would laugh and get behind? His audience may have jeered, and his conservative counterparts may have berated him even further for such a statement. Would have HBO fired him for that? It’s hard to know. Maher was also fired from ABC in 2002 for his statements about 911. The perception of public opinion is a fickle thing and flows back and forth like a wavy palm on a Pacific island. And network television hasn’t been the edgiest place to be since “All in the Family” aired from ’71 to ’79.

When I was on the Movie Review Extravaganza a few months ago, I suggested that the hype and glorified marketing behind films like ‘Black Panther’ could lead the charge in drilling race based politics into the consciousnesses of young Americans in this country; specifically ones who are looking for any reason to be angry and justify acts of violence. This isn’t the movie’s fault, but rather the forced political push behind it. I was scoffed at when I suggested it could lead to something like a school shooting. Well since the Santa Fe High school shooting happened, neo nazis have claimed the shooter as one of their own. Now this isn’t directly blaming Black Panther’s marketing per se, but have no illusions that the two are absolutely intertwined. A deep seeded resentment is edging it’s way into this country and using alt-right politics to mobilize it. The targeting of minorities in the waffle-house shooting wasn’t a coincidence either, and the spin the media uses to sensationalize these events are all part of a larger push to divide the masses.
This is not a conspiracy. This is institutional analysis, and it’s been done before.

Right now the world is being held in an information dependent state. Kim in the White House discussing prison reform is the highest form of nontroversy. It’s nontent through and through. It’s deliberate in it’s attempt to get people talking about something that doesn’t matter, and is used to obfuscate from the truths that are happening all around us every day. When the Monica Lewinsky controversy went into full effect in ’96, the real story about the CIA running drugs into the US in the 70’s and 80’s was pushed to the back of the New York Times. The Contra war in Nicaragua is another topic Chomsky references and should be taken with serious consideration when attempting to hide the truth. They’re capitalizing on lowered attention spans and over inundation of fake news. So in turn, don’t let it consume you. Don’t be apart of it. They are trying to divide us and they are winning.  It’s class warfare and we’re waging it on ourselves.

And now with internet politics growing out of control, the races and classes are eating each other in feeble attempts to justify racism and push an agenda; which, although sometimes is the right stance, generally tends to undermine the real controversy at hand. It distracts in it’s attempt to justify faux virtue signaling. It gives internet personalities like Ben Shapiro and Stefan Molyneux a soapbox to prattle on about using reductionist based reasoning, and offers low key suggestions that minorities are the real problem. Earlier I said, I didn’t think whites should be treated like everyone else. I still stand by that statement, and the truth is much simpler than that.  The oppression needs to end. Whites should not be treated like minorities. Minorities need to start being treated like whites.

-Will Valle

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Will’s Honest Opinion – Thanos: Hands of Fate – 3-19-18

If you’re a Marvel fan, or just your average run-of-the-mill genre movie fan, I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know when I say: “a new ‘Avengers: Infinity War’ trailer dropped last weekend.” DT even did a FREE Special Trailer Reaction Show the day it came out. This movie is the culmination of a decade of planning, execution, and world building. The decade long, 18 film span, will undoubtedly be the go-to source for future Hollywood execs of what to and what not to do for franchise building in the upcoming decades (for better or worse). In 2008, Marvel set out with a promise, and on April 27th, 2018, they’re about to make good on that promise. An entire generation grew up on these movies. Some were fair. Some were bad, and some were tremendous. And although I have huge hopes for this new entry, I can say from a stance of guaranteed certitude, after Av3… I’m out.

Due to a combination of franchise fatigue, and superhero movie malaise, I’ve been entrenched in this industry since Batman 89′ and gone through the highs and lows it had to offer. It is like chasing a dragon, and nothing is more beneficial to a well performing movie than the hit-or-miss nature of releasing sometimes up to 3 films a year by the studio. In fact you could make a compelling argument that the only reason Marvel was able to get this far was due to the shortcomings of 25% of it’s entries. You need to learn from your mistakes, and it becomes increasingly difficult to continue to top every previous entry; especially when you have 18 of them in succession. Baseball is only interesting because home-runs are so infrequent. If everyone hit it out of the park on a continual basis, audiences would become expecting of it, and much less forgiving when someone didn’t nail it on the first try. They’d also become bored because the stakes of success would be minimal. Meaning, you can’t have good movies without bad ones.

However, my retirement from the fandom of this industry seems to be akin to a lost puppy always coming back to me. Even after I’ve left it blindfolded and lifeless at the bottom of a ditch, it finds it’s way home again. Case in point: I actively went into ‘The Last Jedi’ wanting it to be my last Star Wars movie, and in return was treated to my favorite entry since RoTS. I went into ‘Aliens: Covenant’ and ‘Blade Runner 2049’ with predetermined speculation, only to be wowed by both, and singing their praise at the end of the year. Transversely, I bought tickets to JLA as soon as they were made available, and couldn’t remember hating a movie so much in the theater since ‘Rings’. And regardless of Marvel hitting it’s stride, It’s too soon to say whether I’ll be back for Av4 or Marvel’s reboot of F4, and  X-men in the mid to late 2020s. (With any luck I’ll be working on those movies then, and not reviewing them.)

But why is this important? Why am I treating my genre-film going experience like a drug addiction that I need to quit? Because it’s not mine anymore. It’s not made for me. I don’t get the same high I used to. And although one could argue that it’s me who’s changed, I think it’s the films themselves. I speculate that Marvel kept on top by changing the recipe for the drug with ‘Guardians of the Galaxy’. At that moment the movies became more template based and the dialogue was punch-up driven. Since then, Geek Culture was officially hijacked by mass audiences, and these studios are knowingly playing with your emotions like an abusive spouse. It’s become a toxic domestic relationship between the producer and the patron. They’re somewhat inescapable, and similar to the overuse of social-media, they can have profoundly negative affects on our lives if we let them. It’s easy and true when I say: “They just don’t make’m like they used to.” And not because the storytelling techniques have changed or improved.

When I was growing up, the biggest rivalry was between Xbox and PlayStation owners, and if you had both, there was little in the way of debate, because you didn’t need to justify anything to anyone. But now, Geek Culture has encroached so far into Mainstream Culture that these movies are no longer about the message they’re trying to send, but rather the politicizing of their success. ‘Black Panther’ is a fine movie, but it’s global marketing and hype is what brought it to a 97% on RT. Movies can’t just be about entertainment anymore. Instead, people are being sold the value of winner picking. When high profits are met with high Rotten Tomato scores, and not the other way around, the system for poised collapse. I can’t spend more than 5 minutes on YouTube without seeing 20+ videos in my suggestions box, all claiming to tell me why ‘The Last Jedi’ is the worst movie of all time, or how Disney doesn’t know what they’re doing. Let me tell you something, they do.

Let’s talk about YouTube for a minute, and how they’re structured. These companies win even when they lose. If a movie or game comes out and does well, YouTube and it’s affiliates profit off of the free advertising that is generated by the onslaught of: reaction videos, movie/game reviews, play-throughs, or video essays. The Av3 trailers didn’t get 5 million views on YouTube. They got 50 million views by proxy of fan reactions and analysis videos. Now let’s say a movie does terribly, and the fans hate it; well unless you’re ‘I, Frankenstein’, you still profit. ‘Ghostbusters: Answer the Call’ has one of the all time lowest ratings in YouTube history, but the ads played before the trailer are still guaranteed monetary gain for the higher-ups. Negative reaction videos are met with 200% more views than positive reaction videos, and again, that’s ad revenue directed straight back to the top. Also, keep this in mind; negativity keeps the conversation alive.

[ Slightly off topic. When you see a posting about Stormy Daniels, Trump golfing, No gays in the military, or whatever brain fart Trump expels in a tweet from his tiny baby hands at the moment, he’s keeping the conversation alive. NOW THIS IS IMPORTANT. These acts are ensuring a win for him in 2020. Trump is a demagogue. He thrives off of infighting. It keeps him on top to see others arguing over him. It creates sympathy for him by his followers, and enrages his opposers; causing them to become reactionary and exhibit the very behavior a sound person should abstain from. So, for the love of God, if you don’t want Trump to win the next election, you need to stop talking about him. Demagogues only go away when you ignore them, like Freddy Krueger.]

This type of marketing is applicable to all mainstream media. Disney does this every time they release another interview with Mark Hamill claiming “Luke wouldn’t act like that”, or Snyder tweets shade about facial hair. It’s all part of the plan. They refer to this type of “theater” in the movie ‘Chef’. Now back to Marvel.

Marvel has done everything they said they would, and has profited immensely as a result. They also had the added benefit of DC losing battle after battle in an attempt to play catch-up. Ironically, DC has been killing it in the comics for the past 5 years, while Marvel has become the pushers of mediocrity, recycling storylines over and over, or introducing female versions of known characters as a way to stay fresh and relevant. This in turn may be DC’s saving grace in the years to come. When you sell out of your first issue of ‘Dark Metal’, after printing 250k copies and eBay is still asking for $25.00 per issue, you’re doing something right. Which brings me to back to my point of retiring from all things “geek”.

Recently it was reported that Marvel has 15 movies planned between now and 2022. Will this be too much? Over saturation is the death of anything. WB knew this and waited 4 years between The Dark Knight and TDKR installments. They let the film breathe and have it’s moment. Marvel on the other hand, pushes it’s limits with occasionally releasing up to 3 films a year, and somehow keeps the bough from breaking (for now). When Marvel started, I don’t think anyone could predict where the industry would be right today. Av3 could have been a modest film if the others did marginally decent at the box office. It could have been the final swan-song many dedicated fans received as a reward for sticking with the series for the better part of a decade. But instead it’ll most likely be the biggest movie of 2018, and cement Marvel’s footing deeper in the space. Of course there’s always the possibility the movie will suck, and I’ll lose interest in the MCU out of utter boredom.  Or… it’ll be great, and I’ll be able to drop my habit after getting one last awesome high. I’d say it’s about 50/50.

-Will Valle

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DOUBLE TOASTED LIVE: CHICAGO!

Double Toasted Live: Chicago

Location: Park West

322 W Armitage Ave, Chicago, IL 60614

Date: June 30th, 2018

Show: 8:00pm – 1:00am / Doors Open: 7:00pm

Tickets $35

On Sale Soon!

 

More Details Coming Soon!

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Will’s Honest Opinion – Too Hot To Handle – 2-20-18

A week ago I came across one of those dumb Facebook apps that change your face into something “cool”.
We’ve seen it before. You can be a cutesy animal, a french expressionist painting, a cartoon, or now with the onset of magical future tech, a member of the opposite sex. I had seen a few outputs floating around FB, and the website that hosted the app didn’t require a log-in to check it out, so I figured: “I’m bored and doing nothing, so let’s give this a whirl.” What began as a joke turned into an existential crisis as I had to seriously ponder the outcome of my life living as a man, and couldn’t help but be bogged down by the exuberant possibilities of what my life could have been should I have grown-up to be the girl that the app portrayed me as. I did it a few times, wondering: “is this a fluke?”  After 3 attempts, I realized… “ok… fuck… I’m a better looking female than I am a male.”

Needless to say, I was hot.

Each version looked like a female version of me, but also varied a bit from attempt to attempt. Lighting and shadow accentuated certain features over others, and I kept coming to terms with the idea that when I was single, these were the types of woman I was into. I guess it’s true, we do all have a type, and there’s a reason we see so many pairings out there that look like brother and sister couples.

Suffice to say, I was elated to be the sexiest girl on DT. So naturally I decided to make this my profile pic. It was pretty hilarious, and Sammy had the great idea to make a segment out of it on the show. Korey joked about how I should start a Go-Fund-Me for a sex change. I remember laughing, thinking: “that shit would break records”. The Children of the Toast had many “flattering” comments, but the scariest thing that happened was when I started to receive actual messages… In the coming days, I would start to undergo what could only be described as the weirdest experience I’ve ever had while being a member of Facebook in the past 11 years.

“Slipping into DM’s like it’s a guys job or something.”

It started out slowly but as the week progressed it became an almost hourly occurrence to receive multiple messages from someone complementing me. Usually it was just something simple like: “Yo, you as a woman is hot AF!” or “I’m not saying I’d smash but I def wouldn’t pass.” Now if this was just a bunch of comments on my post, I could understand it more because people are trying to be funny, or whatever. But these were direct messages. Why on earth would you tell me that? On top of the fact that, YOU KNOW WHO I AM! There’s no chance I’m not actually Will Valle. Wilma does not exist! And God, if she did, I hope her name wouldn’t be Wilma. The entire experience made me realize how fucking miserable it must be for some woman online dealing with this on the regular. It also dawned on me the almost impulsive like Id some guys act on, and feeling the need to literally “fuck anything that moves”. Even when it’s fake, in some realm, it’s real. And in a way you can’t blame people for being people. There’s virtually no difference between a real photo of someone online you’ve never met, and a fake one; whether they be on Facebook, Instagram. TV, porn, or an app rendering.


At this point I sent the photo to my friend, Luke, who remarked: “Wow they really rounded up, huh?” That’s when I knew I should be expecting more comments/compliments down the pike. The funniest part to me was when my girlfriend saw the pic and became jealous, asking if I wanted to have sex with the girl in the photo. As I’m thinking about how ludicrous the question was, I told her: “It’s a fucking computer composite!” But the more I thought about the question… the more I wanted to change the topic. The truth was, is the odd hypothetical started to fester in my brain. I didn’t want to wrap my head around it at the moment. And suddenly movies like ‘Blade Runner’ and ‘Spotless Mind’ had a deeper meaning. Was the true meaning of happiness within myself? The obvious answer is ‘yes’, but being a hot white girl in a digital universe answered questions I hadn’t even asked before. Like why people catfish, or go into chats as someone they’re not. The whole concept seems to fill a need in all of us. It’s why we Instagram selfies, or drop our 2¢ on topics that really have nothing to do with us. It’s about more than playing to the crowd. It becomes self congratulatory, and fulfills a momentary void.

Wanting what you can’t have isn’t a human condition though; it’s an animal instinct. A few years ago a story was reported in western Australia about a certain type of Jewel Beetle that is known for it’s attraction to, and attempted copulation with large brown beer bottles. The reason being, the bottles resemble a more attractive version of other female beetles sought out during mating season. Even when the female beetle (beer bottle) is unresponsive, or an infestation of local scavenger ants that will literally eat the male beetle alive while in the act, threatens the beetle, the beetle can not be dissuaded from it’s mission. Whether or not the bottle is real has no bearing, because at that moment it’s just enough to entice the male.

Draw whatever conclusion you want from that, but the simple truth remains; the digital age of acquisition is only getting broader. A week ago sites like PornHub actually banned fake celebrity porn videos from softwares like DeepFakes from being uploaded. This suggests to me that as the line between real and fake becomes more and more blurred, and the internet has become so many people’s only outlet or form of communication; who’s to say who the lower lifeform is; the man or the insect. At least those beer bottles were real.

-Will Valle

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Will’s Honest Opinion – “Deep Fake News” – 1-25-18

It’s a brave new world.. but it’s also an inevitable one. On humanities continued quest to bring sex to… itself.. society has embarked on a new chapter into the absurd self reflective, Black Mirror nightmare that’s been the mid twenty-teens so far. If you’ve spent anytime on Reddit in the past month, you may be privy to a mushrooming trend of homebrew celebrity based porn, called DeepFakes.

What are “DeepFakes”? Essentially, the Reddit user by the same name, has built a software that can take the face of anyone and have it superimposed over the face of another person. Only this time, it’s video and not just flat image based compositing. The user, DeepFakes, then open sourced the app for download to anyone willing to experiment, and what followed was a bevy of celebrity based porn being updated hourly. I obviously can’t post any examples here, but a quick google search will yield you a heap of results.

It’s not a secret that porn is the first stop for new technology when being brought to the masses. We saw it with: photography, film, print, photoshop, websites, web video, and now video alteration.

So is DeepFakes the biggest thing to hit porn since… porn? It could be. And while many may fantasize about how they could use such a program for nefarious purposes, I wonder what and or how it will be implemented in HollyWood. We saw it used to varying degrees in ‘Star Wars: Rogue One’ in 2016, but now this skill has been added to the tool box of amateurs, filmmakers, and otherwise. I suspect we’ll see fan made ‘Star Wars’ movies with Mark Hamill as Luke Skywalker, or ‘Ghostbusters 3’ with Harold Ramis. I’d love to see a redux fan-edit of ‘Batman Forever’ with Michael Keaton and Billy Dee Williams. In a way, the possibilities are limitless, and the uncanny valley effect is barely noticeable because the algorithm for the software uses existing footage of the actor as it’s assets, and not computer renderings or 3D wire-mesh composites.

Of course the effect is in a very limited capacity now. There’s plenty of clipping or soft edges around the heads of even the best edits. But in 5 years time, I truly believe we will see an entire era of nostalgia based films that are sequels to movies that just weren’t possible until now. I’m not saying I want to see a direct sequel to ‘Casablanca’, starring Humphrey Bogart, but the option will soon be here; and the results could be indistinguishable from the real thing.

But until that time, expect the internet to usher in the creative cycle for the forceable future. Between Trump memes gone haywire or whatever current celebrity is in hot water, videos will be made. I do suspect though that this will be a future art form. We’ll have professional level “DeepFakes” and terrible “DeepFakes”. The term “DeepFakes” might even be used like “photoshopped” is now for image adjusting.

And, with image alteration becoming such a mainstay in modern society, it begs the question of ones and zeros. I don’t want to get too deep into the theoretical conversation about “simulated realities”, but anyone keeping up with the hypothetical existence of “Quasicrystals”, is aware that the proposed new “Theory of Everything”, suggests that matter is just information; and if information (or data) can be altered, what’s keeping us from building movies backwards with algorithms instead of filming them directly? If you could circumvent the process of physical content creation, and instead focus the raw binary code into a desired output, you could conceivably build anything you’ve ever wanted to see.. ever! It’d be like going straight to the encoding process on a DVD.

Don’t like the ending to ‘The Last Jedi’? Change it! Wanna see that fabled Snyder cut of ‘Justice League’? Just type it in and hit enter! Hated the last episode of ‘Seinfeld’? Fixed! These are going to be real possibilities and it won’t be too long until it’s ubiquitous in all realms of entertainment, or otherwise.

It does raise a broader question though, and that’s one of ethics. It’s difficult to police ethics; especially online. What’s to keep someone from putting their bosses face in a compromising position, or using the software to create a political video aimed at undermining the opposite base?
With a barrage of new possibilities, expect an accompanying set of new laws or rules to follow. With photoshop, if anyone was to “image adjust” you’d need to be skilled enough to make the image look realistic, and even at the best of times, it can still look awkward. But with DeepFakes doing so much of the work for you, Trump and politicians alike may need to coin a new term, like: “Deep Fake News”.

-Will Valle

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Will’s Honest Opinion – The Movie Faux Pas – 1-9-17

In what appears to be a case of something being way too good to be true, MoviePass has hit the scene like a bat out of hell (on it’s way to the latest Marvel flick). In instances like these, the question inevitably arises about the longevity of such an endeavor. I remember when Netflix came out, and it almost seemed like the business model itself was unsustainable. Netflix now boasts over 99 million subscriptions; and to follow suit, MoviePass announced today that they have over 1.5 million users. A monthly subscription that pays for itself after only one use seems a bit like a scam to many; as well it should. But is it? I’ve been using the card for over two months now with the new locked in $10 a month rate, and these are my findings.

Less then a month after I signed up I received an email from MoviePass offering a discounted rate with a one time annual fee of $70 instead of the $10 monthly expense I previously agreed to. I found this to be highly suspect. What if they’re not around in 6 months? Then I would have forfeited over possibly $40 or $50 bucks instead of only being charged for the months I used it. It made me question MoviePass’ projected earnings and future success; that is until I realized who was truly benefiting from this. Hint: It’s not MoviePass directly…

To begin, this may actually be a better deal for studios than their consumers. Imagine the service is akin to a gym membership. I bought my Planet Fitness membership 8 years ago for $10 a month. I go maybe 4 months a year, but it’s nice knowing I can go whenever I want. To me the service is worth the price due to my infrequency of use. Now if I was to spend on average $75 a month on a gym membership, I feel I would need to move into that place to make my subscription worth that price. I don’t go every single day, so such a high entrance fee is anything but nominal.

Originally MoviePass offered unlimited movies for $40 a month. But is “unlimited” truly unlimited? If the average ticket price is $10, this averages out to one movie per week. But that price is still a bit steep. Cinephile or not, frequenting a theater once a week for non-critics and casual movie-goers isn’t realistic. But with the price lowered to $10 a month, that’s a guaranteed $120 annual profit that the studios get a cut of regardless of audience attendance. Will the average consumer spend $120 a year on movie tickets? Maybe, maybe not. But those who go, make up for those who don’t. And for those who go possibly once a month or so, it’s still worth having the MoviePass for the convenience of going whenever they want.

Right now, it’s not hard to find a million articles telling you how to use your MoviePass to it’s full potential, or how movie studios are shaking in their boots because of possible revenue loss incurred by the red plastic card. The Verge posted an article last month with the headline: “Theater Chains are Terrified of MoviePass Because of People Like Me.” To cut to the chase, this is total bullshit. These theaters thrive off of articles like these, because they want their consumers to think they’re gaming the system. What they won’t tell you is that once through the door, with a minimal entrance fee, patrons are now more likely to buy popcorn, soda and candy on site because of the perceived ticket discount. This is a revenue stream not shared with studios. That’s now all cash being directly funneled into AMC, and Galaxy, etc etc. Movie theaters are not movie theaters. They’re candy stores.

Let’s also be real for a minute. Yes you can go to one movie a day for a month, but will you? Could you even do it? The terms and conditions state that you can’t see more than one movie per day. So the possibility of abusing the system becomes difficult because on average no more than three new movies are released per week; so even at full force, you wouldn’t be able to see 30 movies in a month unless you wanted to see the same ones over and over. Which brings us to our next point; the issue of timing.

It’s no secret that January is a dumping ground for studios. It’s when they unload their shelved garbage and begin to prep for their summer lineup. MoviePass making it’s big foray into public consciousnesses now is an odd choice. It doesn’t have the backing of a guaranteed knock-out summer programming schedule to rely on. Granted, I purchased my card early enough that I was able to see ‘Thor’, ‘Justice League’, and ‘The Last Jedi’ with it, but even for studio blockbusters, those were all oddly timed releases. Historically those three movies would be guaranteed summer fare. This month so far I’ve only used it to see ‘All the Money in the World’… and maybe I’ll see ‘Downsizing’..? Neither movie I could in all honestly tell you I would have paid to see in theaters in the past. Those are both by definition, a Netflix/HBO offering to me. But I went because I could. Meaning what exactly? For the consumers it’s not a great time to purchase the card but it’s money in the bank for the studios.

In fact, you could make the argument that MoviePass is the win the studios need right now, and desperately so. The line-up for 2018 is bleak. Now this doesn’t take into account the possibility of sleeper hits lying dormant until their release date. We’re all waiting with baited breath for the next ‘Get Out’ or ‘Baby Driver’, but as far as anticipated big budget blockbusters go, there’s like 4 in the queue? Maybe? This is a pretty paltry offering compared to the last few years.

It’s no secret the overdue Superhero Film Franchise collapse is closing in. DC doesn’t have anything really interesting coming out this year. I mean ‘Aqua-man’ might be tremendous, but I would never consider paying to see it. ‘Justice League’ soured me so badly that it made me want to swear off all new DC films. And I liked ‘Batman vs Superman’!!! And this is why MoviePass is the right service at the right time…for the studios; not for general audiences.

People are just not going to the movies like they used to. And with VOD and DTO, why would they?

Recently we had to play the world’s smallest violin for the film industry as another report surfaced that Hollywood had it’s worst fiscal year in over two decades. 2017’s ticket sales were the lowest anyone had seen since 1992. By 1994, the film industry would begin to find a way out of it’s rut. It also had one of the biggest human interest stories ever to hit households. As a way to break the ice with it’s millions of viewers, TV stations brought the Tonya Harding/Nancy Kerrigan rivalry directly into their living rooms. Now, in 2018, as a way to get assess back in seats, the same story is being told over a quarter of a century later with: ‘I, Tonya’. The comparison may seem silly, until you realize that the only reason a huge subset of movie goers even saw “I, Tonya” was because they used their MoviePass to do it. Begging the question, who’s really the ones getting their legs snapped here?

-Will Valle

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Will’s Honest Opinion – Nontent is King – 11-30-17

With so much going on in the news as of late, it was difficult to settle on just one topic for this week’s article. Should I touch on Net Neutrality, or the continuing murmurings of Trump’s impending impeachment? Or maybe still, Marvel and DC’s ongoing rivalry? Rotten Tomatoes and the firestorm of surfacing sexual allegations in Hollywood, although came and went, still somehow find their way into the mainstream media on the regular.  If 2016 will be forever known as the year it killed Hollywood’s greats, 2017 is shaping up to be the year it killed their careers. And of course we have the occasional mass shooting, that much like the suicide bombings in the middle east, have unfortunately become a way of life here in the US.

It occurred to me in a sense as I was jotting down notes for this week’s editorial, in a way, although dissonant, these topics are all sort of related. Related in the sense that they are brought to you mainly by the same key delivery system of the internet, and tend to have the same knee-jerk reactionary commentary by those who assume to know, espousing responses like their lively hoods depend on it. And for some, (maybe too many) that holds true.

Exacerbating current events has become a way of life. Postulation by way of hyperbole is now so common, the idea of irony immediately correlates to cynicism. It reminds me of the joke in ‘The Simpsons’ where when asked if someone was being sarcastic at a Smashing Pumpkins concert, the concert goer replies: “I don’t even know anymore.” Begging the question, when is it all enough? AND, when will we stop caring? I posit, soon.

We have a content issue right now. There’s too much of it. So much, that everything has become ancillary and throwaway. You can binge watch an entire season of ‘The Punisher’ in a weekend, all while succumbing to the posts of a speed scrolling nation; addicted to preview GIFs for teasers for trailers for movies… We constantly absorb ‘Now This’ videos by the boat load, but retain close to none of it. In fact, it’s not content anymore. It’s “non-tent”. It’s the illusion of information, disguised by being revealing or explanatory, but really just obfuscating from any actual usefully obtained fact. Knowledge has become entertainment.

Recently, Rotten Tomatoes made a jump to advertising itself on social media. A movie review site is now holding reviews hostage in a way to drum up numbers from it’s audiences. On top of that, they’re also celebrating good reviews for movies by placing ads for them; publicly declaring themselves as the go-to source for credibility. That’s not their job. That’s the people’s job. In fact, doing so lowers them to the likes of Fox News, proclaiming themselves as “Fair and balanced”. Part of being a critic isn’t boasting about what you think is good. It’s their job to review movies; not promote them.

When everyone vies for the same spot, the pool gets diluted. Less barriers into today’s industries means skill matters less. Roadblocks no longer holdback those who shouldn’t partake, and as a result we have flooded industries like Advertising with too many graphic designers or Web Development with too many programmers. This in turn causes companies to take zero risk on future endeavors. Risk is what pushes the future of any industry. But instead, movie studios stick with big budget action schlock and known characters, or the music biz clings to it’s top 40 hit list of musicians.

This, ironically and theoretically, suggests to me the possible unforeseen benefits of abolishing Net Neutrality. Price gating the internet would be an indirect way to keep out those who shouldn’t be in the field. The internet is currently an ecosystem littered with amateurs and laymans, over saturating itself; barricading it from those who have the chops to make legitimate headway, and as a result we see a latent swelling of homage based pop-art or underdeveloped music like mumble rap, pop up like it’s a legitimate art form. I fully agree that people have the right to free speech, but throwing your hat into a creative ring online at this point is like everyone on earth owning a car and driving it at the exact same time. Progress takes a backseat to complacency.

There is another benefit too.

Let me be clear, I’m not advocating for the termination of Net Neutrality, however I have no qualms about a corporate conglomerate using it’s own resources and clout to shoot itself in the foot either. Rising prices passed down to the consumers usually means less consumers.

If EA Game’s recent ‘Battlefronts 2’ debacle has taught us anything, it’s that when forced with the choice to pay for more access or not, people will refuse. The internet offers too much. Sometimes for better. Sometimes for worse. The problem becomes when an industry competes with itself, and any industry that is too large to see itself as it’s own competitor is poised to fail. There are other options to ‘Battlefronts 2’s’ controversial “all-access passes” or “loot crates”; like not playing at all.

I got an email the other day reminding me of all of the Netflix shows that will soon be gone in December. It also reminded me of the price hike to take place at the same time. As I started to reexamine my stakes in Netflix and the deluge of garbage content I’m currently rifling through on a day to day basis, in addition to paying more, it occurred to me that Netflix left something off of their list of things not returning in December: ……me.

-Will Valle

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Will’s Honest Opinion – “11/9 vs 9/11” – 11-10-17

A week ago, we withstood yet another in a long line of national tragedies with yet another church shooting; this time in Sutherland Springs, Texas. A few months ago all bore witness to an even more horrific event as a seemingly “normal”, and uncharacteristic individual took aim at a music venue in Las Vegas, killing 59 concert goers. In fact, as a result, the national average of violent mass shootings in this country has escalated to near one per day, marking 2017 as the deadliest year for such incidents in nearly a decade. “There will be another.” I said that in June of 2016 when we had the Orlando nightclub shooting, and at this point, it’s become a way of life.

A few days ago marked the one year anniversary of the day this country collectively lost it’s shit when Donald Trump was elected POTUS. And although there were no direct casualties associated with the election of Trump, the impact can be felt in his lack of effectiveness; whether it be through his “Hopes and Prayers” tweets hastily uploaded every time such tragedies occur, or his administration’s overreaction in Muslin, Hispanic, and Black affairs that see people deported, arrested or shot. I guess it’s too hard to identify these overzealous middle-aged white extremist men in the USA nowadays. I wonder if the FBI had a handle on that at one point before it’s current leadership…”shift”. It would appear that when they’re white and US citizens by birth, no one wants to use the word “terrorism”. Trump refuses to out these people, because to do so would mean he’d be outing himself; suggesting to me, Donald Trump is no less a terrorist then the men he subtly defends.

Let’s classify what an “act of terrorism” actually is. It’s defined as being intentional, yet indiscriminate in nature when pushing the agenda of mass violence. It’s purpose is usually idealogical, political or religious. The point is to create civil unrest and mistrust amongst a populace. It should create fear in everyday life, and usher in a military response that was otherwise deemed unnecessary. Police states are formed and normal citizens are taken to task while trying to complete very basic day to day activities. It builds resentment for a government that has failed to protect it’s people, all while exposing the hypocrisy behind current foreign and/or domestic policies. These homegrown shootings all fall within the definition of domestic terrorism. But, there was another attack on this county that many seemed to overlook.

The most crucial of them in recent history was implemented on November 8th, 2016, and confirmed officially on the 9th. By definition, I posit that Trump winning the presidential election and it’s next day fallout was the single greatest and devastating terrorist attack on this country since 9/11.

Both incidents brought a proud people to it’s knees and created the type of discordance the country hadn’t realistically been apart of since the civil rights movement on the 1960’s. Although there had been reports of rising incidents leading up to the election, the actuality of Trump’s win reinvigorated a flame of hate and bigotry we once thought was snuffed out in most parts of this country. When Trump won, it brought an unnerving silence to places like Manhattan for days to come. I was there on September 12th, 2001, and it was the same eerie scene 15 years later as pedestrians and walkers-by refrained from making eye contact with each other. Subways were silent. Cars didn’t use their horns. You cold hear a pin drop in Central Park from Park Slope. We were in mourning.

And as expected, soon after Trump’s announced win, the country entered into the 5 stages of grief.

1. Denial ) First we began to deny it went down the way it did. Jill Stein demanded a recount in places like Wisconsin, Michigan and Pennsylvania. She even raised $7.3 million for it. Every political pundit played Monday morning quarterback in their attempt to understand where things went wrong, and how Hillary lost.

2. Anger ) Immediately and for a prolonged stint after, riots began. Some were peaceful protests, but the anger could not be contained, and so began the increasing despondence of a country on the verge of defeat.

3. Depression ) At this point the serious actuality of it all became clear and many slumped into a deep depression over it. People would sign out of social media as a way to escape it. South Park refused to joke about it. But much like a fog on an early morning, it was vast, all encompassing and inescapable.

4. Bargaining ) Then came the bargaining. In-house Dems and Reps alike tried as they might to work with Tump, but to no avail. Gridlock after gridlock would see the house and senate spinning their wheels on subjects and policies some couldn’t understand, or worse, never had an interest in changing to begin with.

5. Acceptance ) A year later, some are still just trying accept it. Rumblings of impeachment or Trump’s “imminent” resignation litter the rumor mill that has Capitol Hill looking like a high school for senior citizens. But realists know the best case scenario has Trump ousted in 2020 to a worthwhile opponent. And at this point, that could literally be anyone.

Let’s be clear, the purpose of the next presidential election won’t be to elect a new president. It will be used specifically to usher one out.

But now, a year after Trump’s rise, the repercussions of last years election are still being felt. The house is currently on it’s way to being handed back to the to Dems by 2018, in what will amount to a tsunami of landslide victories for the party.  This will most likely keep things in check without any real reform, instead acting as a political firewall designed to filibuster absurd Rep proposals. It’s not what many are truly hoping for, but it’s not nothing either.

Shortly after 911, Bush went on air, signifying the importance of staying vigilante, being steadfast, and reaffirming what it meant to be “American”. Now, 16 years later, we find ourselves in a similar position against the very person who should be inciting those very speeches and views. It makes you wonder; if Trump never had money or power or means, would it be his face that was plastered all over the news as the next “white male mass murdering shooter.” … yet still to be labeled: “terrorist”.

-Will Valle

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Will’s Honest Opinion – Stranger Thangs – 10-30-17

This past weekend was an expenisve one for any one privy to the current providings of geek culture.
No matter what your poison, there seemed to be something to quench your thirst. Nintendo released the highly anticipated ‘Mario Odyssey’. ‘The Evil Within 2’, ‘South Park: Fractured Butthole’, and ‘Destiny 2’ were released to all major next gen consoles, and ‘Stranger Things Season 2’ hit the Netflix scene with it’s love-letter retreading of all things 80’s and monochromatic. All of this, and it was ostensibly Halloween wherever you went as well.

It’s actually pretty rare to have such a smorgasbord awaiting you all at once with so many options to chose from. This too comes off the heels of the weeks previous that gave us ‘Metroid: Return of Samus’, ‘LotR: Shadow of War’, and the incredible ‘Blade Runner 2049’. The year started out better than most had hoped for with entries like ‘Get Out’ and the fun as hell ‘Kong: Skull Island’. This year’s offerings wrapped up into a delightful “off year” by publishers, amounting in what turned into a great collection of soon to be hits and instant classics. I call it an “off year”, because that’s what it is. There are always on years and off years in the entertainment industry. 2011 was an off year. 2012 was the biggest on year since 2007. It’s a cycle perpetuated by the studios, that pitches it’s big tentpole properties, usually all at once for mass consumption; generally every two to three years. (This isn’t a hard rule but it’s a pretty good guideline.) The next one will most likely be 2019 when we see ‘The Batman’, ‘Star Wars 9’, ‘Avengers 4’ and ‘Bond 25.’

So what’s the point of all these current yet vatic observations? I posit that we are on the cusp of geek culture collapse. In fact, after 2020, I believe that the industry will become so disparate it will most likely divide into multiple subcategories and become unsustainable as a working business model. The comic/film/geek culture bubble is about to pop, and we’re in the middle of it’s glory days. (trending towards bloated expansion.) I would say that about half of you readers would argue that that’s total BS, and the other half thinks that’s an obvious, although hyperbolic, assumption. And, although you both may be right, I can tell you as someone who has seen it twice before, once in the 80’s and again in the 90’s… It’s coming.

The contributing factors won’t be franchise fatigue though; at least not by itself.  The 2020 election will begin to rear it’s head in the Spring/Summer of 2018, and with the growing onslaught of politically aware activists, and SJW who’ve obtained overnight law degrees in civil rights, suddenly, the need for escapism will continue to escalate. But once Trump is gone, (and he will be gone. I predict Texas will go Blue in 2020.) the dialogue of healing a nation will begin. And it won’t include fanboys arguing over whether or not Wonder Woman is feminist enough for theater goers to enjoy. In fact, it could have a completely extemporaneous effect. As the bubble pops, it’s impetus will create a ripple effect. The common dialogue of one issue will seem nonsensical when compared to other more pressing issues. Who’s to say where the conversation will lead, but by that time, we may even be on the verge of witnessing a massive joint effort by the US and other countries to work side by side on a climate control project, should a larger catastrophe strike. What if California fell into the ocean? (If that was a plausible theory, it could explain the last ditch effort to make as much money as possible on known properties before it’s all too late…) That’s not a prediction, but stranger things have happened.

One thing you can conclude is that it’s all connected. If there’s a shift, I genuinely believe that the current film culture and socially aware political (sl)activism of today will be forgone in the hopes of forgetting a time when so many were so easily triggered. I conjoin the two, because they run in tandem. Nostalgia reigns supreme with every “new” iteration of known IP’s that are released seemingly daily. There wasn’t one new property in the list I presented earlier in the article. And if you think ‘Stranger Things’ is a new property, I have about 15 movies from 30 years ago to show you…  People tend to gravitate towards known comforts in moments of duress. Similar to pining for a warm blanky, Millennials, Xennials and Gen Xr’s all demonstrate a similar systematic response due to the idiosyncrasies of their generation’s unique set of coping behaviors. They may seem different, but they aren’t. They all latch onto nostalgia as a way of refuting facts. It’s the definition of escapism. It’s why shows like ‘Stranger Things’ do so well, and why no one seems to really care that the ‘The Last Jedi’ borrows heavily from ‘The Empire Strikes Back’. Blame the internet, or whatever you want, but that’s a whole ‘nother article.

I hate to say it, but right now, this country is acting pretty dumb. It over reacts to non-news. It finds dumb shit entertaining by giving a pass to pastiche laden entertainment built by repurposing unoriginal content, and convincing it’s followers that homages are the same as creative writing. (‘Lego Batman’, I’m looking at you.) This is not a millennial thing. This is an American thing. The latter half of the 1970’s brought upon what is arguably the greatest era of film, music, and art known in modern culture. It did so because it was born out of the ignorance of infighting amongst leftover dixiecrats, overt racist tendencies, and current events that made places like New York City a walking cesspool. The 70’s also brought on a new type of film that had never been explored before. (No, not porn). It introduced real hard hitting slice of life stories of morals and race/gender relations; only previously and slightly touched upon by movies like ‘Breakfast at Tiffany’s’. The onrush of baby boomers attending college and the counter culture that derived out of it, helped mold it into what it would eventually become. The world got smarter. I think we will too. But until then we may just have to endure the prospect that Marlon Wayans is most likely gearing up to make a movie called “Stranger Thangs”…

-Will Valle

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WILL’S HONEST OPINION – COMIC-CON 2017 – 10-11-17

This year I was able to procure a ticket as “Press” for Double Toasted and attend Comic-Con New York 2017. The ticket allowed me to get into all of the panels, and screenings, and walk beyond the red velvet ropes. This all sounds fantastic, however, the Press pass ostensibly did very little except for wave the bill of getting me through the door. This isn’t a bad thing, but I definitely expected a bit more from the exclusive pink lanyard.

For those of you who may not know, Comic-Con is where geek culture goes to thrive, and fans go to die. I was completely taken back by how much stuff there was. And it was just “stuff”. Comics eating comics. Vendors cramming into vast fields of over packed, elbow scraping con-goers; all trying to pass you and get to the place you just left. Most go for the merch. Others go for the news. Some go to show off their latest cosplay contraption. I however went to submit my portfolio. It has been a dream of mine to one day walk into a comic shop and pick up a copy of “The Shadow” or “Batman” (obviously) and see the name Valle on the cover. But before that happens, you need to enter before you win. This is my account of how that all went down, should any of you decide this is the path you were looking into.

I realized almost right away that portfolio reviews at New York ComicCon are almost nonexistent. Most booths or vendors that have editors generally aren’t willing to look at your work, but that doesn’t mean you can’t get them to see it. And for those of you out there who may wonder whom you should be showing your work to, the answer is generally not artists in Artists Alley. Some of them may look at your work, but only expect actual critiques from artists down there. They are very much working, and taking time to review your work while they have a line forming behind you is keeping them from signings and getting paid. I was lucky enough to have an audience with the professor of my alma mater, Klaus Janson and get some excellent feedback is to what I could be doing better and how to shift into mainstream comics. Although the critique was useful and it was nice to catch up with him, I knew it wouldn’t land me a gig.

Later in the day I would attend two panels about breaking in. Both of them seemed a bit pedestrian if I had to rate them. One was called “How to Break into Comics the Marvel Way.” This was primarily just a panel of current working writers and artists over at Marvel and their accounts of how they got discovered. The hour long panel can pretty much be described in one word: “Persistence”. Keep at it, and stay positive. This panel had a massive audience, but felt more like fan service than actual tips. In the beginning the moderator suggested that there was no magic word for becoming an artist in the industry. You could have guessed then that this was going to be a symposium for laymans.

Finally, I hit up a panel that felt more like a high school dance, than anything otherwise. I should preface though by stating this was actually labeled in the program as being a “workshop”. Essentially the idea was to match aspiring artists with aspiring writers. They started with success stories and personal accounts of how the workshop worked for them in previous years. After, they put the writers on the left of the room and the artists on the right, and had them mingle.. awkwardly. It quickly became a game of “who has the best portfolio” and who can talk to the one hot girl in the room. Most of the artists were novices at best and clearly were only a year or two out of college. There were possibly three artists (out of 50) that were creating on a semi-professional level. IMHO, those 3, (including myself) didn’t need to be there. It was a useful exercise for those who are truly entry level, but if you’re aiming for that brass ring, this type of exposure is more of a hindrance than a benefit.

Once that was over, I headed back upstairs to shop my portfolio around. What you need to do is create a “leave behind”. This is like a mini portfolio that you can leave with publishers and hope that they like it and check out your stuff. If they do, they’ll call or email you. This is where the persistence comes in. Nobody gets a gig, day 1. You’re not Jason Fabok. And even if you think you are, you aren’t. Try to give these directly to editors if possible. Sometimes they will put them in the pile, but if you have one that stands out, they can’t help but take a look the moment you hand it to them. Case and point, DarkHorse told me they weren’t taking any submissions whatsoever. I then found an editor and he agreed to take my leave behind. When I handed it to him he said “man, this is slick!”, and then asked for my card. My advice would be to try and leave an impression. Anybody can do 8 pages of xerox black and whites. Go the extra mile and hand them a folded mini comic. It literally takes another 2 minutes to fold and staple.

Finally, my best advice is to be kind. These aren’t job interviews, but they are personality interviews. I finally got to meet with an editor of a major publisher that took the time to check out my stuff. When he did, he took a good 20 minutes to explain to me how this industry works. I wasn’t combative. I didn’t complain or give him excuses. Ironically he had the same pointers Janson did, so I was lucky to have the same feedback and know for a fact that these were things that major comics publishers were looking for. When we were done he gave me his card and stressed the importance of keeping in touch with him. They want to make sure that you can take direction well. Nobody wants to work with someone that’s always on the offensive. That’s literally the last thing they want. Would you want to work with someone who was all ego?

Overall, the connections I made and responses I got were well worth the trip. The major takeaway was that actual portfolio reviews are done at SanDiego ComicCon, but the critiques and conversations that were had were incredibly valuable because I was willing to put myself out there. If any of you guys are looking to get into this, take my account as something to mull over. Don’t expect anything if you don’t have the chops. This isn’t me being arrogant, but it’s true that people only want you if you’re actually the best. Everybody wants to get with a pretty girl at the school dance, but remember, there’s only one Prom Queen.

-Will Valle