Posted on November 9, 2016 by Double Toasted

This is my 45th article, so it seems oddly serendipitous that I am writing it on our new 45th President elect, Donald J. Trump. I had written a few articles about him before, and suggested that at the time we should get used to saying the words: "President Trump". I said that (back in April of 2016) because I wanted to scare people into the idea that there was a very real and even likely outcome he would become our next President of the United States. I also laid out why he should be President, only to receive naysaying and backlash from Hillary supporters who refused to see the forest for the trees. All of the reasons I mentioned turned out not only be true, but actually preferred explanations by major headliner's such as The New York Times, HuffPost, Michael Moore, etc etc. The writing was on the wall, but many liberals decided to live in a vacuum. They did so by deleting friends on Facebook, and ignoring news reports that had nasty things to say about their candidates. They created a dialogue of their own agenda, for their own purposes; and on the eve of November 8th, a lot of Hillary supporters started to see that the election poll predictions and 'likes' on anti-Trump videos meant little in the way of influencing votes. The world would then watch in awe as Hillary lost to the unwinnable, unlikable, unkissable, Donald Trump. The Left was stunned, but shouldn't have been. The world is bigger than a news feed...

To start, anyone who didn't see this coming, is kind of an idiot. Or at least had their fingers in their ears so hard and long, that they willingly became a participant in the largest corporate takeover of America in history. Divide and Conquer. It's all that the Republicans had to do to ensure their victory. As soon as Bernie got the boot, any liberal who prides themselves on their collage degree and their 'understanding of politics' should have been privy to last night's outcome. But instead, half of the nation became the inflamed butt-hole of the rest of the country.

As election night grew long and viewers across the country bore witness to the events unfolding before their eyes, a light for so many went on in the back of their heads as they realized: "oh shit..we're gonna lose." Then, the Facebook comments started to pour in. Hateful, and spiteful posts that laid waste to this country and it's people, or the contempt felt for the entire political system. A disposition, that if was the choice rhetoric of many conservatives should Trump have had lost, would be classified as the go-to example of why Republicans are the "problem with this country". The truth is, is that more Republicans got out to vote since Bill's standoff with Senator Dole in 1996. Overall, left or right, deep down, people will be people. Complaining, arguing, party divisiveness, and even opting to leave the country seem to be the majority of leftist comments online as of late. So you can get mad, or you could grow the fuck up and do something to work with the other side and make life better for everyone. Stop fucking complaining for once in your fucking life, and do something to better yourselves. News flash: Canada doesn't want you!

"Hypocrisy is the double edged sword of a scholar who's turned knight. It's wielded by both young and old from those who've sought it's sight." - He-Man

Articles and 'think-pieces' will be written about this election for literally decades. People will read them to try and grasp what just happened, and find ways to cope with the deluge of bad news. There will be theories, TV movies, books, and studies done for years. Celebrities will come forward with their surprise disappointment. Hillary will spend the next 2 weeks eating Hagan-Daaz, when she's not being coaxed into coming out of the bathroom. Meanwhile, Bill Maher will be able to build a cathedral out of the amount of bricks he just shat. We are a society of contentious people, and it's been a long time since the left side has had to show more than sanctimonious disdain for an outcome unwelcome. So I say this: eat your crow and do better next time. That's life, and as unpopular an opinion as this will undoubtedly be: maybe try to see the humor in it. Getting angry over something you can't control is like punching a 5 yr old for licking the floor. And although Trump may resort to that, you don't have to. Don't hate the system for failing you. Hate yourself for letting it happen the way it did. Use your voice for something outside of venting on Facebook. Shaming others for not voting will make the party even more divisive than it was before.

"Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen." -Sean Connery, The Rock

In 2007 I was sitting in my office and a friend of mine came in and casually asked if I knew who John Titor was. I had no idea. For those of you who don't know, Titor was a self proclaimed time traveler who blogged online. He had come back from the year 2036, after a war tore the entire world apart in 2015. This war killed 3 billion people. As my friend began to tell me about this "time traveler", I too fell into this rabbit hole of an internet tale that foretold our fracture and failed fate. There were many differences with our current world line (at the time), but the overall message was on point. Titor began to explain that in the early stages of the war, there was a civil unrest. A huge separation of the classes, allowing the roof to collapse in on itself. At the time, I couldn't even fathom that idea. People were more civil to each other a decade ago. A civil war seemed so... stupid. I want you to look around you now, and tell me where you live. We have riots, cop shootings, protests, protest shootings, in-party divides. We scream at each other on Facebook, and Glen Beck has become the voice of reason.. Titor went on to say that: "Perhaps I should let you all in on a little secret. No one likes you in the future. This time period is looked at as being full of lazy, self-centered, civically ignorant sheep." So regardless of what you believe or don't believe, if the world comes to an end sooner than later, it's clearly of our own doing.

Personally I believe it's all just global warming, cooking the pot slowly; causing these agitations in our culture, but what do I know? Trump is America's new hemorrhoid, but we need to swallow our pride, and take our medicine while repeating: "It's just a cream. It's just a cream." On the flip-side, God gave you the Cubbies win as a consolation prize. So there's a feather in your cap!

-Will Valle